Kiwianarama

A typical Kiwi chin-wag

The three cornerstones of all Kiwi conversation. In parts of New Zealand, it is possible to have an entire dialogue with just these three, short, phrases.

But if, some argue, the ultimate aim of language is to say the most, with the least amount of words (a sort of unified theory of linguistics, if you will) then surely this is evidence of a highly advanced culture?

Others say it just makes us sound thick.

To foreigners, however, this economy of phrase in the Kiwi dialect can be plain confusing. And there are other local variations to look out for too, so here are some tips, to help you better understand, and be understood by, New Zealanders;

• Awesome is the most commonly used (and for some, the only) positive adjective in the New Zealand language, and as such, it’s use does not necessarily imply it’s true, almost biblical, meaning. For example, say you arrive home from work and say to a flatmate, “I picked up some milk from the Dairy, because we were running out,” if they reply with “Awesome!”, they do not literally mean,“That stirs in me feelings of immense religious awe, respect or fear!” They probably mean something closer to “Oh, that’s nice.” The adjectives level of gravity should be determined by it’s context, not it’s repeated use.
• Kiwi politicians and broadcasters like to start statements or replies with a short, sharp “Look…”. This does not mean that they want you, literally, to look. They might actually mean ‘Listen’. Unless they have prepared a PowerPoint presentation, but even then, it is more likely being employed as a popular tool for fluffing their way out of a sticky question, with a defensive, ill-informed, but authoritative sounding line. One that was written for them by a hard-nosed, handsome PR woman, named Sue or Yvonne, who wears a cropped bob haircut and a lot black clothes.
• If ‘Look’ by itself does not add enough gravity to a statement, the addition of the word ‘Now’ (as in, ‘Now, look..’) is considered, in New Zealand, the best way to further intone seriousness. It also reminds your audience that you want them to ‘Look’ (or ‘Listen’, which is generally the literal meaning) immediately, rather than 10 minutes after, or, as is more often the case, never.
• The word ‘Basically’ is applied an awful lot to descriptions of events, actions or instructions. While this does not necessarily imply that the person speaking has a limited vocabulary, 9 times out of 10, it basically does.
• Heavily repetitive use of the phrase “You know?” during conversation, does generally not require a response. It should be regarded as rhetorical, even when it’s frequency sometimes makes it hard to concentrate on the words that come between it. Try to block it out of your head, or find someone more interesting to speak to.
• You’ll also hear a lot of a word that sounds like “Yeahnah“, which literally translates as ‘Yes/No’. You might assume that this combination of both a positive and negative affirmation together is simply a laboured, slightly retarded, way of saying ‘Maybe’. This is a common mistake. In fact, it’s meaning depends entirely on the context. Sometimes it means ‘Yes’, other times, it means ‘No’. But mostly, it means nothing at all, and is just a way of filling space while the person thinks of something better to say.
• But perhaps the most difficult aspect of the Kiwi dialect to get used to, is the sense that you are forever being asked a question. For example, if a colleague says to you,”Um, yeahnah, I had an awesome game of netball at the weekend?”your first reaction might be to reply,”Well did you, or didn’t you?” This would be a mistake, and may cause offense.  It may even result in you being left out of the next staff game of social touch rugby. Because in actual fact, your colleague was not asking you if they had a good game of netball, they were telling you they did. But to stress this point, in the New Zealand dialect (and possibly too because they are a little over-excited about the awesome game of netball), it is common to inflect upwards at the end of a sentence, making everything sound like a question.