If New Zealand network news was dumbed-down any further, the Medical Council could name a …
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Author: Selwyn Nogood
Tall Poppy Syndrome
Kiwis are by their very nature imbued with a pioneering spirit of self-reliance, hard work, …
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The Appearance Of Being Green
Clean, Green, 100% Pure New Zealand. Our tourism billboards and food export packaging are awash …
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Hating Auckland
Auckland. City of JAFAs (which we are reliably informed stands for ‘Joy! Another friendly Aucklander!’). A temperate climate, …
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Cowboy Property Development
New Zealand has a great many beautifully preserved character buildings and colonial villas. Ideal locations, …
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The Flat White
Most countries in the world like coffee. But only New Zealand actually wants to marry …
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Correcting Trans-Tasman Nationality Mistakes
The number of Kiwis who really make an impression on the world’s stage, in any …
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Public Service Advertising
Kiwis love being told what to do. And then doing the exact opposite. In a, …
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Georgie Pie Nostalgia
Georgie Pie – New Zealand’s own answer to McDonalds, featuring meat pies instead of burgers …
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90s-facial-hair
Soul Patches (aka ‘Clit Ticklers’), Goatees & Lamb-chop Sideburns – or any other combination of …
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Per Capita Statistics
With the exception of New Years Day on the Millennium, and the climbing of Mount …
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Frequent Weather Reports
Nothing happens in New Zealand. Ever. And yet, against all better judgement, both TV networks …
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Reckless Driving
No nation on earth likes a spot of reckless driving quite like the Kiwis. For …
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Dub and/or Reggae Music
New Zealand has never quite recovered from the Bob Marley concert at Western Springs, Auckland, …
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Awkwardly Respectful Pronunciation (of non-English Words)
Aotearoa. The ‘Land of the Long Flat Vowel’. Universally famous for our monotone, deadpan accent. …
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Taniwha-Based Transport Policy
According to Māori mythology, Taniwha are supernatural creatures – some terrifying, others protective – that …
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Cheap TV Adverts
Small to medium sized Kiwi businesses just can’t seem to get enough of badly produced, …
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New Zealand T-Shirts
Nothing informs the world of wearer’s modest Kiwi patriotism better than a printed T-Shirt with …
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Taking Ourselves Seriously
Irony has often been a bit of a struggle for Kiwis. We have a hard …
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Putting New Zealand On The Map
Few phrases, uttered by respected international media pundits, excite Kiwis more than; “This will really …
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Positive Identity Reinforcement
Closely linked with ‘Taking Ourselves Seriously‘, a trait unique to the Kiwi psyche is the …
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Weddings on Beaches
Kiwis are a pretty adventurous bunch when it comes to weddings. Any popular activity pursuit …
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Leaving New Zealand
Kiwi’s just can’t get enough of New Zealand. They love it. So long as they …
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The Colour Black
Modest to the point of peity, Kiwis consider it a sin to ‘stand out’ too …
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