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£28 in Topshop, $700 in Karen Walker
Located in an out-of-season timezone, with a population less than most other nations’ statistical margin of error, it’s a wonder the factories of China sell New Zealand any clothes at all. Lacking the substantial buying power of big countries, Kiwi retail chains are always last in the queue, squabbling over scraps of overpriced, end of the line, monochrome fashion that simply screams ‘THREE YEARS AGO!’.
So the only alternative, for fashion conscious Kiwi consumers, is to buy local, high-end brands such as World or Karen Walker, where even a simple coat or blouse from one of these stores can easily set you back four figures. Which means that, to look good (or even to look just ‘average’) in New Zealand, you have to pretty much mortgage something. Preferably an organ. And a good one at that (you know who you are…spleen).
Fortunately (or perhaps because of..?) 98% of New Zealanders are quite comfortable hitting the town on a Friday night in bare feet and board shorts. Maybe Jandals for a special occasion, like a wedding. However, the Kiwi love affair with ‘laid back’ only serves to reduce both the already low order volumes, as well as the level of risk on new trends, that clothing chains are prepared to take each season.
The situation is nso bad, that it is not uncommon for New Zealand women, returning home to the sunny Kiwi lifestyle after many years holed up in London, to experience a condition known as Top Shock, a form of cold turkey brought on by the sudden and brutal dislocation from UK High Street chains such as Top Shop, H&M & American Apparel. Common symptoms include night terrors, fever and shaking, random outbursts of tearfulness, and a refusal to leave the house.
As if to add salt to an open wound, TVNZ insists on running repeats of popular BBC shows such as ‘How to Look Good Naked’ and ‘What Not Too Wear’, which are full of advice for young women on how to dress like celebs, on a checkout girl’s budget, by shopping smart at any number of British department stores. None of which is even remotely useful in New Zealand.
Furthermore, the shows feature flattering, panoramic shots of said department stores, which can unexpectedly inflame a latent and presumed remissive case of Top Shock.
Which can really ruin a Friday night.
(4 votes, average: 4.75 out of 5)
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Oh hell yes. And New Zealand sizing charts need to be converted as such:
NZ Small = XL
NZ Large = XXL
NZ XL = XXXL
When stores like Farmers only stock NZ Large and bigger, you’ve got no hope of finding anything “fitted”.
Country Road Men’s Small = Rugby Player Large
Same goes for Women’s sizes…A clever ploy to make plump girls feel better when they slip into a ’small’ or ‘medium’?
NZ is indeed a country in love with highly flammable polyester… been to Takapuna recently? Enough said!
What’s with all the garish plaid and neon I’m seeing then? Or maybe I’m living in a little fashion x dimension. Holy hell give me back the black!
**What’s with all the garish plaid..?**
How can you not love a pattern which makes you look both shorter and wider at the same time?
hell yeah, malaysia is cheap.
teeny sizes though.
shopping in nz is such a downer, because everyone knows nz as the all black country.
which means - in winter especially - we are clad in the national dress. like we’re all mourners.
**because everyone knows nz as the all black country…like we’re all mourners.**
At least we’re dressed and ready for the next time the rugby team loses to the french…
http://www.kiwianarama.co.nz/the-colour-black/
My (Singaporean) friend Emily says clothes are real cheap over there, like you can get a dress for $12, and your average jayjays tee for $10… but she gets all her clothes from Malaysia. Apparently it’s worth the biannual trip.
As a nation we are pretty atrocious dressers.
And it’s not just a case of being victims of the market, ‘Kiwi chucks’ could try and knit or sew something nicer instead of buying ugly overpriced tat from Rebel sport or Hallensteins.
I’m sure a good many of us Kiwi chucks would be only too happy to sew our own clothes, if it weren’t for the fact that the selection of fabric available is even more atrocious and overpriced than the clothes themselves.
We’d pretty much be resigned to wearing either camo polar fleece or shiny pink satin bridesmaids dresses everywhere we went, which is hardly befitting for a proud resident of a World Class City. (Come to think of it, if I made it, it’d hardly be fitting at all, but that’s a different story).
I think we should boycott all clothes and wander around starkers until something is done about the situation. After all, it’s not like it ever gets cold here.
“a proud resident of a World Class City.”
If it makes you feel any better, you can’t be living in any world class city if you live in NZ.
As for getting nekkid, could work in Australia but it’s too cold in our lovely country. We want you alive not dead from hypothermia.
NZ needs to get (or rediscover) a sense of style and taste. I could say we let ourselves down but the truth is most of us just don’t know how to dress.
Accurate. I now live in Japan, clothes are far cheaper and better quality. Actually EVERYTHING in NZ is overpriced while simultaneously being utterly inferior. Nice trees though.