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18
A typical Kiwi chin-wag
The three cornerstones of all Kiwi conversation. In parts of New Zealand, it is possible to have an entire dialogue with just these three, short, phrases.
(4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
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Donde Esta La Dignity?
The shelf life of a B-List celebrity anywhere is usually short lived. In New Zealand, that shelf is more of a skirting board, precariously propping up the VIP-guest-list and shopping-mall-opening dreams of our once slightly famous.
But for those not smart enough to start an orange juice company, what meaningful source of income remains, ten years after the spotlight (albeit, a weak one to begin with) fades? Not famous enough for Dancing With The Stars, too famous to work in Burger Fuel. Where to next for hostesses of 80’s game shows, singers of defunct 90’s, chicken-themed, dub-rock-lite bands, or the ex-cast of Shortland Street (those that didn’t attempt brief & unsuccessful careers overseas before ending up back on the show)?
In the apparently endless, mildly informative, and altogether embarrassing world of Advertorials, that’s where.
Beautiful on the inside.
Forged at the coal face of colonial adventure, gold-rush comradery, and manual farm labour, New Zealand expects high standards of masculinity from it’s men. Unfortunately, these same standards also apply to it’s women.
Whether it’s down to the rural lifestyle, the lack of any good clothes shops, or simply generations of attempting to crack through the deadpan, stoic veneer of Kiwi blokes, New Zealand women are often, and perhaps sometimes wrongly, perceived as being ‘a bit hard’.
No worries, mate.
There is no winter in New Zealand, apparently. To admit otherwise, is to admit that this is not the tropical paradise our forebears anticipated when they emigrated here, which conflicts sharply with the Kiwi need for constant, positive reassurance, and is deeply unpatriotic. And probably a little racist.
Would you like fries with that?
Nobody eats more ketchup than the Kiwis. It’s true. And not just ‘per capita‘ either, for real.
Whether it’s a result of growing up being spoon fed sentimental pap by Watties’ TV commercials, or simply our national tendency towards a Pie-based food pyramid, Kiwis consume, on average, 3 times their body weight in tomato sauce every year*.
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